What turns a Real Man on?

I have been taking time watching and listening to women and men, about what really “turns a man on” is something that is very interesting to me. For this reason I just thought I should take some time to write my thoughts on this interesting subject. Men are always talking about “oh! That girl turns me on, my Gosh I wish I could lay my hands on her” she is so fine that she makes me drool” and if it’s a saved brother they will say “ Lord! have mercy ” I just wonder have mercy on you or the sister? Anyway it’s just a thought. On the other hand I hear girls say oh my gosh this will surely turn the brother on! Being the person that I am I take interest to go into details and find out what these words mean to both guys and girls.
I see girls focusing so much on the outward looks, the right shade of the lipstick and powder, talk about the perfumes, my Goodness! There are so many and some names you can’t even mention here, clothes is another one, talk about the one famous Low-cut Jeans, Gosh! Sometimes you have to play blind to keep your salvation lol, there are dresses that expose Cleavage so carelessly that you wonder, if there was shortage in the shops for materials, it breaks my heart to know that most guys are turned on by the Hips, Lips, and a bit of flesh hanging openly without covering it and girls dress in suggestive clothes and wear perfumes that confuse the mind of a guy, like the famous saying “dress to kill” sister when did you become an assassin? I think there is more to a woman than all that. I wanna tell you what I know “turns a real man on” I know with the title and image I have used for this article, some might have been thinking I will write something sexual “ hope it wasn’t you, sorry just pulling your leg mate” turning a real man on, is not so much on sexual appeal or exposing your cleavage carelessly and painting your face like you are getting ready for Miss Universe, pliz understand this, turning a man on is not just used when you are talking about a sexual encounter, “Turn me on “ also means inspire me, motivate me, make me glow, give me some life, wow! I feel like I wanna preach right here, a real man is turned on by a lady who has got a mission, vision and a saves her God with her life. A lady with values and character, someone you won’t have to question her stability all the days of your life. I want you to carefully examine the following Verses
Pr 31:30 Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!
1Pe 3:3 Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes;
1Pe 3:4 But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God
Looking very fine and hot is fantastic, but it must be balanced, being a lady of noble character should not just be reduced to a bunch of Hips and make up, at the core of a lady’s heart they should be dignity and responsibility. Get it from me there a lot of Guys that are craving to “be turned on” the right way, may you never think of becoming a Ciara or Beyounce look alike coz you wanna catch a man, you will keep attracting the wrong Fish, why do you think a lot of girls today are doing butts and boobs enlargement coz the videos and talk shows have lied that guys are turned on by things like that. Sorry am not a victim of such garbage! Am a real man and am turned on by the right tools!

Steady Divine Phiri
Trainer, LifeCoach,
Relationship Coach, Pastor, Motivational Speaker, Leadership strategist Entrepreneur, Radio/ Tv Host and Writer.

www.iconzambia.com www.mgiafrica.org

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Integrity the missing Vibe

Integrity the missing Vibe
The year 2009 for me began with amazing events, amazing in the sense that things I thought wouldn’t happen to me, happened to me, and you know what it’s like when events of life catch you unaware, you really panic and that makes you look silly and sometimes you manifest. In the midst of drama you have so many questions why are all these things happening to me? I guess God sometimes smiles all the way from heaven and says why not you!
As the year began I experienced so much betrayal in my relationships and if you are very close to me, you know very well that there is nothing to me that defines life than relationships. People to me are everything. Like the old hymn says “I would rather have Jesus than silver and gold” for me I would rather have the ones I love than silver and gold. Yet the ones you love are the ones who let you down and walk out of your life and I experienced massive betrayal in my business, people running way without making payments and honoring their word. Just in case you thought I was talking about unsaved people! You are wrong, I mean washed in the blood, saved, demon chaser and tongue speaking. As I sat to examine these situations in my life and extended to people I know who have gone through issues like me. I realize that there is a vital component missing in our lives today, it’s called INTEGRITY. Which denotes consistency of actions, values, methods, principles, expectations and outcomes, It’s the quality of having a sense of honesty and truthfulness in regard to the motivations for one's actions whether convenient or not, in the past months that I have gone through betrayal in my relationships and business, I have asked myself so many questions, one was “why have I remained faithful in my relationships and business” even when people dupe me? I remember one day sitting on a bus too many thoughts racing in my mind. Am I not just wasting my time being faithful and doing everything according to the good book? Remember the old line “everyone is doing it” at that very moment something in my spirit said you are not everyone and suddenly it’s like I regained back a God consciousness. With one tear in my eye trying to cover myself from embarrassment in public transport so that nobody would notice, I reaffirmed my principals and I said “ no woman is strong enough to make me become a player because she did, no friend is strong enough to make me close my heart to a new trustful friendship, because they lied on me and there is no business partner/client strong enough to make me become a cheat coz they walked away with my deals/money, after all its just a piece of paper, may I take it to another level no pastor will stand between me and heaven, make me give up on church and my love life with Jesus, coz you are full of drama, man of God sorry my walk with God is a no go area, if I was American I would have said you “don’t mess with this space boy”
I remember one time working with a friend, who wanted me to submit my business proposal to a company, where another friend of mine was doing business with, this friend said “we can do a better job than what is he doing” I said it doesn’t matter even if our products are better than his, my friends space is a no go area, I don’t find pleasure in making my friends lose theirs. And I passed a silly comment maybe am too pastor for business. I said this principal applies in relationships. Am not a player I believe a wise man is Faithfull to one woman, there is nothing exciting about unfaithfulness. And I said I wanna be a man of integrity all my life.
Today friends have the guts to jump in their best friends beds and betray their friends, sleeping with their wives and husbands, and massage their ego by singing songs like “am only human forgive me” no you just lack integrity.
Am I being too judgmental? I don’t think so! Am just trying to fight a lack of integrity coz it robs us of amazing relationships. Coz we are afraid to open up and let the love flow freely.
How do we build multi-billion dollar businesses when our investments are not safe with each other? Mates’ lack of integrity is a cancer lets deal with it.
In summary integrity and I say again integrity is a must….
Look out for my other article “IN SEARCH OF MY JONATHAN” it will bless you and your life will never be the same.

Steady Divine Phiri

Trainer, Life Coach, Relationship Coach, Leadership Strategist, Pastor, Motivational Speaker,Entrepreneur, Radio/ TV Host and Writer.


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Real Men are secure enough to let their woman reach for the moon!

I constantly carry a broken heart at the state of women I meet every day of my life, my heart breaks at the fact that I see so many of our ladies give up on their dreams and simply sit home and not do anything! Hence the title growing called HW -“house wife” I know so many ladies that used to be very vibrant in so many churches and communities, that stopped ticking and being vibrant, because they met a man or got married! These are highly talented ladies that would have sold a million Copies of their music and would have been # 1 on the billboard charts. Talk about state house! some man out there has packed a brainy and intelligent woman in his little insecure hood, who is meant to be president of a country and there is a Lawyer out there packed and cooking Nshima 24/7, when she is suppose to be defending and standing up for justice of this country, come on! talk about that Fashion designer, that Lady with magic hands who is meant to be writing books that will bless generations to come and not forgetting that Multi- million dollar Mine CEO, I feel like screaming now! Yeah baby you can do that thing, you can own it… yet some of these ladies have given up coz they have hooked their destines to a very insecure Hunk, maybe some might have forgotten that you don’t marry or date a man because he has banana legs and six pack or he is the Hunk of the hood and you wanted to share in the temporary glory of the whole neighborhood saying she married the hunk of the hood, relationships and marriage is about destiny.
Just because a person is married does not mean their dreams die, it’s painful because our ladies are the victims of this, because they are the ones to submit. I wrote this note especially for my fellow men, to challenge and admonish, that we have a responsibility to make that woman shine and reach for the moon, to make sure she lives a more fulfilling life.
Look at those ladies owing and those making their way to their dreams, some men are intimidated to approach and connect with such type of ladies, because they feel she is indomitable, a secure man will not fear a lady who is doing well. Because you know you got something she doesn’t have, yes she is got the Gold and the fame! But something is missing.
Bring out the gold that is embedded in her, encourage and push her to go to school, to build up her business and help her to look S..Y and fine, don’t be afraid another man will take her away from you, you pray for her deeply and stand there as an intercessor that no devil will mess with her. God brings that woman into your life for a reason, not as a sexual object to conquer or something you release all your frustrations on. She is of value. Speak to her and inspire her, that’s why I strongly believe every man should be a motivation speaker. Please men let’s make this happen to our women, they have been down for too long, it’s time to lead them to that grave they buried their dreams and as a priest over her, speak to those dry dreams and let them live.
To my dear sisters we apologize for not doing the best to help you achieve your dreams and be what God called you to be. We are making a commitment to be the best.
To God’s real men! Within our strength it’s hard, but with God on our side we will do thing. Are you game? I am! And to those who have loosed their women already there is always more we can do to be the best and take it to another Level.

Steady Divine
Trainer, Life Coach, Relationship Coach, Leadership Strategist, Pastor, Motivational Speaker, Entrepreneur, Radio/ TV Host and Writer.

DIVINE

Steady Divine

Trainer, Life Coach, Relationship Coach, Leadership Strategist, Pastor, Motivational Speaker, Entrepreneur, Radio/ TV Host and Writer.